I lost contact with my long distance ex boyfriend,ended up weirdly... He been busy I guess,but yet we like each other. We replied each other e-mails but took forever to do so. So I guess we ended up peacefully I guess?
Life been great, I'm starting to love myself and improve my passion of cosplay and such until there's one day around early October I meet this Chinese guy on a group chat on Facebook, my friend the one who invite me to that group. We being silly over the chat and everything till we decided to private chat, exchanging number and knowing each other then guess what? On 17th October 2013 is our official date and the date when I first time meeting him. It was beautiful indeed...
Our relationship is getting better and better. I even sacrifice my virginity to him to proof how much I love him and wanted him to make me mine. Long story short,We both have different religion and we both pretty religious. I thinking for a break up since It's not going to work out in the future but he keep insisting me by saying "We can get this through together" "Don't give up" "We'll have future together"... He motivate me to not to give up easily so I become strong and work hard to build up our relationship to become stronger and forever. He even motivate me to live healthy and lose weight which is great, we laugh every time we at gym, we even hold hands while do cardio,It was perfect. He always pats my head and kiss my forehead. When he did that I feel like a safest person in the world. He keep saying I'm beautiful without makeup and he actually prefer me not to wear make up cause he like my natural looks. No one ever call me beautiful cause all this time guys keep calling me fat and ugly while he liked it, I was very shocked and happy when he said that, I never been grateful in my entire life. I was very thankful to Allah who bring us together.
He used to say, "I never break up with you and It's impossible for me to do so". and "If you break up with me, It's going to have a big hole in both of our hearts and we will be missing each other"
I trusted him. I promise him that I never ask for break up.
There's one day...
My mum start an affair with this old fat fag until now and been ignoring me and the whole family
but then there's him to brighten up my day
There's one day I feel insecure...
but then there's him
When, I feel ignored or lonely...
He is there always to make me safe and sound...
Until I messed up everything...
I become emotional and start hating myself, he keep motivating me but I was stubborn...
I become self centered, not caring about his needs...
He had enough with me...
He asked for break up...
Over Whatsapp...
I thought he won't do that...
My heart shattered...
I don't know what to do...
I was so lost...
So I begging him and he saying that I'm showing my true self, which is a"Pathetic Bitch"
He actually call me that...
I can't do anything...
He said "If you change I'll think about it"
I thought I'm yours?
Sayang,I'm yours right?
I'm nothing without you
all my dreams and the lights mean
nothing without you...
Until now this moment,
I can't think about anything
All I want is him back by my side
That's all
Is that too much?
Sayang If you read this, just so you know that:
I need you
I will change for sake of saving our relationship
I will never hate you
I will always missing you
I will do anything for us to be together
So please think carefully...
Until now, we didn't settle properly about our break ups but I'm starting to like my oldself which is lonely and hating myself...
I really hope that Allah will bring us together back. I pray about us everyday.
P/S: I cried while typing this, It took me roughly 1 hour to type this... I cried so hard when I'm about to reach the end... I keep stopping cause I cried... cry and cry and cry and cry...
Thank you for reading this, It's actually a long story but I'm making it short since I can't stop crying.
Again,Thank you for reading this I really appreciate it.
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