Friday, July 27, 2012

From the bottom of my heart PART 1

It's actually and E-mail I wrote to my boyfriend , I haven't send it yet so I decided to put on here. It look like more than a diary but this is what my heart feels.

Just so you know , I never regret meeting you 
I love you so much 
I hope we can stay together till I got there at your place 
There is an old friend of mine I found him on Facebook (We used to be best friend but not anymore)
We talk about What's new and stuff
He got a girlfriend which is good , I said Congrats
He said , "she living 10 miles away and same age with me", I said "That is sweet"
I said , "I got a boyfriend too" , "he said Cool"
I said , "He lived 1000 miles away and 10 years older than me" , He said "I'm stupid and your bf is a pedo"
I protect you by saying "he is not a pedo , he understand my feelings , I love him dearly , He is a great friend , Trust is the key , I believe him and I have no doubts with him" , He said "I'm a jerk and he said you still a pedo".
I said , "Why you ruining my happiness , you sad creature , He said I am not , you are , get a life , you can get better than him"
I said , "Why I need someone else while I'm have someone perfect , not fully perfect but someone that understand my feelings"
I said , "He knew when I act immature and mature , he respect my age and I respect him as well" , He said "He still a pedo"
He said , "I got a new job with high payment" , I said whoa , "good for you"
I said , "I'm still study , living with my parents" , He said "you suck"
I said "You just jealous" He said "No I am not , you just a sad creature , GET A LIFE !"
I said "Lonley doesn't mean Gone , Quiet doesn't mean Forgotten , Far doesn't mean Separate" He Quite
I said again "Even though I have 2 eyes that doesn't see him everyday , Even though I have 2 hands that can't touch him , Even though I have 2 ears that can't hear him everyday but I have a heart , I loyal heart that always think and always love him"
He said "You pathetic"
I said "I maybe am but I have happiness , As long I he don't break my heart and love me with his whole heart , that is enough for me . I don't need anything else to make me happy"
He said "You crazy bitch"
I said "You have a gf right ? Go take care of her and mind your own buissness"
He said "You'll regret meeting him , I know it cause he is a pedo , I bet right now he flirting with some other girls with the same age as yours"
I said "Well It's okay , as long he love me that is all I needed"
He said "Don't you regret later , don't you find me"
I said "I won't and why the hell I wanted to find you , you suddenly add me on Facebook and right now you trying to ruin my relationship , you jerk"
He said "HAHA well then , I can't wait to see you crying all night"
I said "I won't I'm ready for any risk , I'm ready to be heartbroken , So don't you worried about me , worried about yourself !"
He said "He can't take care of you , he a pedo and old ass man , all he want is some under age girl pussy"
I said "FOR THE LAST TIME IS IS NOT A PEDO! He can take care of me when he live together one day , and that is my Teenage Dream , Living with him in the same roof"
He said " BLEH , Whatever bitch , you crazy , you change alot , you not innocent anymore , You not Reira that I known 2 years ago"
I said "I was immature when my first time meeting you thank you very much , and Yes I am change but in the good way , I may don't have many friends but I have the best friend , lover , boyfriend in the world , I am happy right now , thank you for your concern , It's nice talking to you , Goodbye and have a nice day"
Then I blocked him and hope that I don't wanna talk or see him ever again ! 
I am happy right now and that is enough (:
Do you know what is my Ultimate wish ?
Being a Teenage dream with you , living with you , or even better marry with you 
I know its too early to talk about married things but hey that is my dream .
You know I'm a pervy so I'm also wish that I can get married early tehe <3
I am not beautiful like other of my friend but when you call me "Beautiful" It make me smile the whole day I even giggle when I think about it.
At school , guys in my grade keep calling me fat and ugly but it doesn't matter because you make my day and I am a fighter.
I hang out with my sister and her boyfriend and some of her friend at night till 3am.
I do get jealous with surrounding with pretty woman and couples everywhere , even my sister boyfriend said that I'm crazy doing all this and it won't last long . but I know we can . I'm always think positive about our relationship , It sound a little childish but that is how I feel , that childish act inside me is natural and sometimes I over reacting.
I love cuddles , kisses , treat like a child/baby , giggle , do silly things and do stupid jokes 
oh a little pervy too . oh you know it .
I'm also have crazy Imagination .
I really want to go out date with you on your badass bike , We both wearing the biker jacket . You do your concert and I'm right there watching you with the audience , smiling at you while once you hit the drum , give a big pulse when its over.
On your birthday , We celebrate with your friends in your house or in the club , you have fun with the boys drinking while I'm just there by your side just drinking coke or pepsi , since I can't drink.
HAHA silly eh ? I'm also have high Imagination when I got there at your place , when I arrived at the airport.
I maybe got exited by hugging you or I just stand in front of you and crying like stupid person.
Or maybe I jump on you and kiss you on the lips deeply.
Then you bring me home by car since I probably bring big luggage. 
When at I'm your home , I probably get a jet lag so I lay down on your sofa or on the bed then fall asleep.
After I wake up , I'll kiss you on the for head , I make sure I kiss you every morning .
I have thinking alot if we live together , I know this is silly/stupid but hey that's they way I like.
and most importantly , I want we to be a youtube artist like Karmin , I know we can and we will . I'm not good giving names but I know in the future we'll figure it out tehe
Oh and just so you know hunny , I'm ready for everything you said , EVERYTHING .
you can share stories with me , I'd try my best to help you out , I'm not the best advicer but I try my best to make you feel comfortable.
Just in case if I do something that you don't like , tell me , I try to change if that is good for me.
There is nothing can stop us except one.
I know this it a little bit to forward but the walls is the RELIGION
I'm no good giving religious information in english it's pretty complicated for me to do it.
You know what , just wait till we meet the we'll talk about it.

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