Thursday, November 5, 2015

Saturn (Part 1)

So hello 3000k+ readers that actually read my pathetic love life. I am back for more.

(I try to make it as short as I can)

So after with A I've almost to move on and love myself as a single woman. But no, suddenly a guy named D came into my life. It's start with a Facebook message. He start it and I reply and it goes on and on till we hooked up. WHILE I rejected to him once (or twice) first, because I'm still in healing stage. But in the end we're together. I was few weeks single if I'm not mistaken.

So dating him was real fun. He is not too socialize but open minded. He make me experience a lot of things. Like, going to clubs, listening to EDM, get drunk, get high etc. I admit It was an unexpected journey of life but for real he is an amazing guy with a charming smile that makes everyone melts.

Humans is not perfect, He do have It's down as well but It doesn't mind me till one day I mentioned about I feel under appreciated about my life and I need more attention. It annoyed him and eventually kept calling me an attention whore and I guess that's where the fun part started...

I don't want to mention on how much things and sacrifices (Yes really BIG sacrifices) that I did to him and he give me almost nothing. I don't really like saying bad things to anyone, including D even we're enemies. That's okay as long we're together. But one thing that make me really upset about he did to me is that he called me a fat many times and I was so depressed at the moment and I decided to eat all my slimming pills and hoping to be skinny by sweating but sadly I ended up hospitalized for a week and he didn't come at all. No one came actually, even my family. Everyone busy with their "business". They almost didn't care that their "love" ones is having depression and anxiety. Priorities huh. Oh and guess what, even the doctor laugh at me and calling me stupid. Yeah, I really trying to hurt myself because It's fun, how professional.

Family problems aside. So yeah D, you know who you are and if you reading this please.
I'll never forget the moments. Our first kiss. First meeting. Oh remember when I celebrate your birthday? I did that quite good eh? Haha I loved when your surprised and do you remember that you smiled a lot on that day and it make me super happy <3. I remember on how every time I pick you up from work you give me a quick kiss and smiled. I'm not a creep I'm a person who appreciated all the little things (as well as remember all the bad things lol). Oh Oh! You remember on my birthday I just kept quite and hoping that you said Happy Birthday at least because I know you won't give me anything which is fine but you didn't... until I tell you that It's my Birthday lol you're so dork <3. Remember you took my club virginity? hahaha It's my first time ever been to club and we rock it together \m/ Omg, how I'm going to forget that!. There is a lot actually but I only mentioned the moments where our relationship that changes either up or down. Also the time you at China and you texted me on how much you missed me, I really feel the most loved that time And lastly remember how we trying to get along and you finally bring me to dinner at Taiwan House? After we finished we walked together and there's a shop selling cupcakes and you walk faster and slowly running to the shop because you want buy cupcake, that is the most adorable things I ever seen. Eventually that is the last moment that you actually sincerely smiled for me with you cupcakes.

Therefore, he dumped me and I'm guessing he is now get back to his ex girlfriend; I text him almost every week to fix our relationship. Yes, I do force him a little to us be together again and fix things that should be fixing.

He reply to my text usually and a third person comes and ask me to stop while I don't want to. I believe that he is still care for me, if not then why he still replying my text? Or he replying so that eventually he could get rid of me? Or he didn't know how to approach me? Or Or Or........

Is it the end? I don't even know.
I don't want it to be ended
He wanted it to be the end

I am emotionally numb

I don't know... I guess there will be part 2 of this... Thanks to anyone who reads this, I really appreciate it :)

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